Woke, church, lunch, nap, dinner — pretty much sums up my day until about 8pm. Then I read Pirsig to chapter 7 (finished part I) and sat here reading HN. I then resolved to fix up my resume having neglected it all year (didn’t apply anywhere given that I wanted to accept Mozilla). Decided to change back to a single-column format so that I can fit more things. It still runs to two pages but I honestly couldn’t figure out a way to make it stay on a single page. Hopefully that’s not too bad.

This week is going to be relatively productive now that I’m walking around a bit. It still feels pretty sore in the morning but my legs are healing slowly.

One week left before school resumes. I’m both in dread and excited.

Things to expect this semester:

• Physical therapy hunting. Need to figure out how I’m arranging my transportation to therapy each week.
• SGL. This one is going to be scary and new.
• Apartment hunting. My decision has been made, living with Linas & co. next year. Going to miss PAR, but my moving out is for the best. I think I’d be leaving PAR in capable hands and it’s time to look ahead toward my next big goal.
• Art. Gotta practice drawing and working on technique.
• Jan 17th – GEB. Going to read this with the MIT commentary via Reddit over the course of however long it takes.
• Stanford ML Class – Thinking about doing this but not sure if I should defer it to summer given the amount of work I’ll be undertaking this semester (CS473, fml)

Things to expect this week:

• Physical Therapy MWF
• Finish annual Pirsig reading
• Start thinking about writing a secure messaging app
• Annual eye / other doctor exams
• Packing

Physical therapy yesterday. My PT, Edison, is a really nice dude. He has an apprentice or something too — dude’s really cool, used to box and did martial arts in China for a year. Pretty badass.

Legs feel okay. I’ve been hobbling around the house doing chores and whatnot. Andrew & friends kidnapped me last night to chill at his place. Watched Catch Me If You Can, which is an excellent movie. Part of me wants to join the FBI all of a sudden, haha.

It’s just really hard to find things to write about when you spend the whole day watching Psych on Netflix and lying in bed.

New lab coat came today. Finally. Now I can go out without people asking me why I’m “Esther Liu” (my sister’s lab coat has her name embroidered onto it). Dylan is going to lose $100 at the end of this year.

Started hobbling around the house without crutches. The wheely chair is my fallback — I don’t feel like using the crutches ever again. They mess with the arms. Sometimes I even get phantom sensations like there are crutches under my arms. *shudder*

Cleaned my room. Dad has a terrible habit of using shelves incorrectly. Books go on shelves VERTICALLY not HORIZONTALLY. Also, garbage doesn’t belong on shelves. Papers belong filed or shredded. Come on, basic road rules here.

1. Posture
2. Discipline
3. Art

For the past few days I’ve been pretty much confined to my room by two very inflamed legs and a bit of a sniffle. In the midst of my delirium I’ve had more than a few epiphanies though. Maybe I need to become sick more often.

I was sitting still in my bed and staring at the copy of lehsah’s mouse drawing on my wall. It made me realize how much I want to draw. Actually, I’m not sure but maybe I just really want to paint and feel like I need to learn to draw better before I begin painting. I’ve had a few drawing lessons as a child, and I barely remember anything. I do, however, remember having a keen fascination with art and art history in elementary school (which probably triggered my mother hiring that art teacher). After school programs ftw. Those things really leave an impact.

I’ve also realized something about my living spaces. I think part of my dissatisfaction with living in a dorm is my inability to make the room mine. I need my own living space — not necessarily in terms of being alone, but in terms of a space that I can arrange to suit my pleasure. Having a roommate live in the same tiny room at school means I have to deal with his stuff being around. I love my roommate to death but very honestly: under normal circumstances, I’d prefer not to have a TV or video games. I’d prefer art gracing my walls. I’d prefer low beds, whiteboards, music going all the time, LCDs hooked up to computers decorated with LEDs, and an extra bookshelf to keep my books.

I waste a lot of time in my dorm room, and while people who don’t understand me think it is something to do with me personally, I’m really just the effect. The cause has got a lot more to do with that room.

I need a productive space. I need a space where I can think, where I can create.

I’m being stifled.

One more semester.

I’m really thinking about getting an apartment next year.

Sara: “Nothing’s changed. I’m dead. And the city looks the same.”
Neal: “As far as the world knows, you’re no longer in it, but it keeps turning”
Sara: “Yeah. Certain things…”
Neal: “Humble you?”
Sara: “Well i was gonna say “really piss me off”, but okay. Yeah, Sure. humble me.”

Tuesday: Merkle and Andrew came by, and then Cathay and Stefan and Ollie all showed up too. Then Niti, who just had her wisdom teeth taken out. It was fun.

Wednesday: Slept and coded most of the day. Started a bet with Dylan.

Thursday: Everyone came over for brunch…and ended up skipping NYC because they all got here late and were here until 2pm rather than the planned 12:10 departure. It was good to see everyone together again, since it seems a lot of people won’t be making the potluck today.

Today: Haircut. Potluck at 4:30. I should go clean the house, but my legs are really cranky today.

I get the stitches out next Wednesday. Can’t wait.

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life’s a bitch, feed into it and you might get full quick
but you getting half the nourishment and twice the bull shit
but you’ll sit, listen and accept
every indiscretion with a lesson missing any depth
but the shallow minded see a meal and eat it, they fail to see it
so i lift the vail and reveal the secrets concealin weakness
steal the preachers sermon, rewrite the words and then return it
add the fuel to a dying fire and burn
every lie inside of the furnace and furnish the mind of those
who finally rose out the ashes, and actually try to grow
instead of settling, showin that as hard as it seems
you can water your seeds til your garden is green
instead of envying the grass on the other side
masking the fact that you managing to laugh when you wanna cry
thats the funny part of life aint it?
they say they hate the way they living everyday but never try to change it
they just paint a pretty picture for the masses
lack the ambition putting vision into practice
sick of this division and subtraction
try to take away from what i added but i’m tripling the rations
that i’m giving to the listeners who asking for the truth
what good’s intention if you never actually do”
cuz passion isnt shit without the bravery
label me a sinner til the day i see the grave then i’m saint to these
mistakenly intelligent well intentioned and pivotal
prevalent individuals i, see what’s invisible
and listen to the silence, do the impossible
challenge everything logical, they can take any obstacle
they’re given as a way to build the strength to conquer anything
it’s hard to bring the consciousness to those who taught to never think
beyond a box they settled in, the people need some
relief, but the freedom’s misleading, cuz they’re free dumb
but true knowledge has a price
i’m offering the key to open the lock, and problems to the light
but it’s blinding, their eyes adjusted to the dark their used to
it’s true you caught up in the who is who and start to lose you
so whose move is gonna be the one to end it?
i wonder when they’re gonna bend enough break; save the “unpretentious”
hate, take the brunt of what i say and make assumptions, but i’m done pretending

Feeling much better on day #3 postop. I’ve been hobbling around the house on my crutches, no longer confined to bed. I still spend most of my time in bed though because it is comfortable.

Napped in David’s room while trying to get him to start an English project. Then we bro’ed out until like 1:30am, I began planning Friday’s potluck with Lehsah, and then I bro’ed out some more with Jack Li until around 4am. Still not feeling the least bit tired (being in bed all day does that), so I might sit and write for a few hours.

Man I really love just being able to sit around and talk to people about things. David and I vid chatted with Esther before he went to bed too, because she didn’t come home for Christmas Eve or Christmas and we missed her. She gets back Thursday so we’ll have some time to hang out after that.