Travel today was blessed: it wasn’t nearly as bad as I had anticipated. Brian drove me to Ontario with Jon, and they bid me farewell. I’m gonna miss then. I remembered to hug correctly though, a la Mike Flores. I wasn’t even sure how long each flight was going to be when I headed off to my first gate. I only had to wait roughly an hour, then I was on board and fast asleep. Before long I found myself in Dallas Fort Worth, and then I had some meat at this…meat place. I don’t even remember what it was called — all I remember is that you could buy meat at $12/pound. Friggin airport food. I spent $22 eating there.

Then I realized that I had < 20 minutes before my flight left…so I ran to the gate.

Fell asleep on my second flight too, but it was more of a fitful sleep because some large prepubescent child behind me kept kicking my seat while I was sleeping. Talked to Linas and KJ on the phone — can’t wait to see their FLU booth tomorrow afternoon. Everything has been really good and even now I only had to wait about 30 minutes for my bus. I’m on the suburban right now, so I should be back soon.

Can’t wait to see my parents. Talked to them on the phone — they’ll pick me up when I get down from the bus.

This summer has been really great: it’s been a real period of growth in my life. I’ve learned how to read scripture with maturity, how to deal with people I don’t like in a winsome way, and how little I really understand about everything. Tonight after I fed Boaz, went shopping with Jon and Matt for my suitcase, after one last lunch at Diamond Palace, and one last dinner at CPK, I had the most awesome worship time with Matt and Jon, and then packed my bags kind of dreading to leave.

It’ll take some getting used to, not having Brian around anymore. He’s been God’s answer to me in a crazy recovery of purpose and faith. God encouraged me through him — and I really hope I can follow through by applying everything I’ve learned. I am going to be so busy though: following through with the decisions I’ve made will require me to go to bed on time (exercise should help), do my homework ahead of time, and make God’s word the first thing that I read every day. I wrote in my journal: “the first moment of the day is yours.”

It’s not easy, when it comes to being in a dorm, to manage good sleeping hours or to finish homework on time. Even this first week, while I’m studying for my CS173 proficiency exam, I have to turn down many things and make chillin with people a lower priority than what I’m planning to do. When it comes to things as simple as sitting straight, I need to pay close attention.

I will miss beautiful southern California. I still like north cal weather better, but the people down here have impacted the entire course of my life. China next summer will be rough — I pray that God gives me the humility and perseverance I need to serve.

Brian upgraded my laptop a few days ago. 160gb Intel X-25M SSD, 8gb ram, and this thing has a webcam!! Now I can videochat with people for the next two days, and when I finally get to Urbana…I can double video chat!

I’m zeroing out the HD for the other computer I used this summer. On this computer my home directory is encrypted via encryptfs, so I feel pretty secure data-wise. I need to make some server backups before I go to bed though. I’m really digging the SSD! It makes coding so much more fun. “ant all” has improved in speed by fourfold. It’s like night and day. I kind of want to buy one for my MBP. I also want to upgrade to 8gb of ram. That would mean…

160gb Intel-x25M: ~$400
8gb ram – ~$250

http://www.newegg.com/Product/Product.aspx?Item=N82E16820226015&Tpk=8gb%20macbook%20ram

http://www.newegg.com/Product/ProductList.aspx?Submit=ENE&DEPA=0&Order=BESTMATCH&Description=intel+x25-m&x=0&y=0

I’m really struggling about whether it will be worth it. Since I already have this laptop I could make do with it, but then my personal laptop will mostly go unused because it’s lacking in raw power and ability. Never thought I’d love this computer as much as (more than) my MBP. 160gb SSD + 8gb ram + 1920×1200 res 15″ matte screen + keyboard that feels like the thinkpad ones + black, brushed-metal exterior that makes me feel cooler than the silly MBP’s aluminum outer. Haha I’ve fallen in love with this machine. Also I don’t feel bad running Ubuntu on it, whereas I have to use OSX with my mac to get my money’s worth.

Math exam probably next Friday. That gives me about a week to finish the next half of the course. Gotta hammer it starting tonight. Watched Pirates 3 with Brian and the other guys. It was only okay the third time watching…though cute pirate girl is cute. Cute might be the wrong word to describe Kiera Knightly in Asian pirate garb.

Ange came all the way down from SD to hang out with me today! I was so happy. We went to church in the morning (the sermon and study after were both very good) then hit up Roscoes in Hollywood — man for some reason this time it was far better than the first time I went — the buttery waffles are to die for. It was a 40 minute wait though, so me and ange walked around and snapped pictures of things. Also got Twix, but it melted so we ate some quite messily. I still have another twix bar in the freezer. After Roscoes, we drove down to this cafe called Royal T — the servers there were these anime-style maids. Kind of quirky but it was a fun place. It had a lot of quaint things, vintage/trippy things that I kind of wanted to buy, but for the sake of saving money didn’t. Instead, we got a big pot of Darjeeling tea and it super good. Strolled around a bit, snapped some more photos and drove off in search of Little Tokyo.

Downtown LA is a lot more spaced-out than other major cities. This week happens to be Nisei week in Japan, a big celebration, so we had the treat of watching a huge parade while walking through Little Tokyo browsing the shops. I was really tempted to buy a Totoro backpack for my sister, but man things are kinda pricey. Plus she doesn’t dig cute as much as I wish she would…I had a Ramune ($1!!!) and Ange got a tea slush that looked pretty good. We were both really full from Roscoes so we neglected to hit our next planned destination, a Cajun restaurant (The Shack), so instead we hit up an Arcade!

The arcade was really fun. We only really played two games though because we wanted shaved ice, but man I could see myself chilling there if I were a teenager growing up. Or if Jack were still around and we were bored at night. I can’t believe we didn’t discover it earlier. Alas, Technica is a really fun game. So we left the arcade a little earlier than we wanted, and went in search of shaved ice.

Turns out we were lost for an hour and we finally got to Class 302 for shaved ice. 4 other asian dudes were sitting there eating a yummy shaved ice, we went to the door, and on it was a sign — “No more shaved snow.” Eff eff eff eff. !@#$%^&. It was okay though. We went back to the house, had some green tea cheesecake that we picked up at the Arcade place, and called it a night. It was really great being able to hang out with Ange again though, prior to this summer I hadn’t seen her in years. It’s gonna be a while till we’re able to chill again though. At least today was pretty fun!

I’ve been craving some alone time for a little while now. Lately it’s been “lets go out to eat!” and “lets go do this!” and not enough time for me to just chill and think about things. Roommate life is kind of like that.

I didn’t go to boiling crab today with the other guys because I wanted to chill alone. I had time to reflect on lots of things and when Brian and Caris went out for a walk, I played some worship on the piano. I realize that I’ve learned a bunch of new songs that I really love. They are so mellow and warm. Particularly I really like a hymn called Seek Ye First. I think the reason I like it so much is because it’s like singing the bible, and when Brian taught us the song on a family group night, I could sing along despite not knowing the song, because it was basically the verse put into a song. It felt so good to be able to sing the word.

“Seek Ye first the kingdom of God,
And His righteousness,
And all these things, shall be added onto you,
Alleu, alleuia

Man shall not live by bread alone,
But by every word
That proceeds from the mouth of God
Alleu, Alleuia

Ask and it shall be given unto you,
Seek and ye shall find.
Knock and the door shall be opened onto you.
Alleu, Alleuia”

I had the weirdest daydream just a few seconds ago.

It was Esther’s and Caris’s birthdays today. Dinner was on Brian at Soup Plantation — super tasty. I woke up at 6am today to do math homework, so I am tired but it’s been a good day overall. A lot of progress has been made in Liferay’s Wiki. Not many days until school starts — need to finish homework #6 by tomorrow. Then I’ll have 7 days to finish 5 homeworks. It doesn’t seem too impossible.

Oh and happy birthday Esther Miss you much!

Every year, I re-read the essays I’ve written in the year before. It’s unclear as to whether I should be happy or sad as I observe the past immaturity in my writing. Every year, my worldview is shifted in a radical degree — and it’s damn scary. It makes me realize just how wrong I can be, even having looked from “every possible angle.” My struggles used to be found between worldviews. Nowadays it seems that my discoveries are leading more inward, within the formed framework of my mind. Even in things I once thought I understood, there are new angles to pursue and new secrets to unlock.

Writing is a painful art. It involves constant living in the past, because re-reading is the surest way to improve and to note improvement. But just glancing over an old essay evokes enough disgust to make me physically wince. I see the broken worldview with holes, the fascination I have with a world I don’t understand, and a desperate seeking to understand things way beyond my comprehension.

I don’t believe I’ll ever write an essay I actually like. It’s okay though, I’ll keep writing because otherwise my muse will throw a fit.

Man so it’s begun — Connor left today. I’m gonna miss him. Next week Jack is off to grad school. I’ll miss him a lot too — one week eating lunch with not-as-bro people. The week after I’m headed to Illinois, and class starts a day after I get there. Great. The other three will be leaving within a week or two of me: one the week after, and two the week after that.

It’s been a really fun summer. I’m spending the rest of my days here working and doing my discrete homework. I might get to chill with Angeline one last time in Rowland Heights, though. I hope I wonder if Brian will give us any more lessons now that we’ve already lost a guy and are due to lose a couple more. It’s not the same even with just Connor gone. Ah well.